Born On The Fourth Of July

Although the holiday weekend is over and most of you are back to work today, I would like to remind you that we can always keep patriotism in our hearts and in our homes, especially with fantastic lawn ornaments like the ones I spotted yesterday.

 

After all, nothing says independence like a giant purple gorilla tethered to an inflatable American flag.

Pride. Impressed!

Thinking of Opening A Cake Store. It Will Make A Killing.

Twitterheads and history buffs alike- HistoricalTweets.com has some fun blasts from the past. . .

. . . and a couple of off-color moments. [From the twitterfeed of Anne Frank: @diary forgot to put iPhone on vibrate. tense few moments, there.]

And My Uncle Has A Myspace

Several months ago, my mother joined the facebook. It was a hot moment of drama. I sent out a quick text declaring a meeting of the Midnight Society. I figured that my siblings and I should collectively decide to withhold online entanglement. But then one of my brothers jumped in without consulting the rest of us and after that I was stuck.  If a nineteen-year-old boy can friend his mom, how is her adult daughter going to hold out on her? 

I called her up and let her know that it was a conditional add. "No writing on my wall. No commenting on my pictures." 

She was indignant. "Well then, we're not really friends, are we? FRIENDS write on each other's walls." 

"You're not my friend. You're my Mom."

"You sound like a textbook on parenting, and anyway, that rule doesn't apply after age 25. Now we're friends."

So now we're friends. And she's generally on best behavior out in the great wide world of social networking. She doesn't tag photos. She messages not wall posts. However, not everyone's parents are as fantastic as mine, and that's why this site exists:

Oh Crap. My Parents Joined Facebook.

If the pain is new to you, it's a good place to commiserate. I give it an I.

Mouth Full of Cavities

I know I said I had no follow-through, but. 

It's my Friday, so get-up-and-shake-it!

Impressed. Except for the tube socks. Those are always a miss in my book.

Well, He Is The Most Dope Guy in School...

If Stephanie is going to post "classic cinema" I am too.

I am a fan of any high school movie, really, i can't get enough.

that being said, Can't Hardly Wait is soo good. I can't find a trailer to post here...but Jason Segal as a stoner will work just as well.




extra bonus!

The Chiffons Wrote a Song About. . .

I keep thinking up great ideas for weekly features, but the problem is that I’m not very consistent in my blogging. The Monday Ehows are not a hit, because 1. who wants to write a blog entry on Sunday night? and 2. those things are long as shit.

Sometimes I like to post a get-up-and-shake-it music video on Friday mornings because I am so excited about the weekend. But half the time I’m running late on Fridays. Or my week is completely thrown, like this week, because it’s totally my Thursday right now.

So instead of promising that every single Wednesday I’m going to bring you a cherished clip of classic cinema, let me just say: Remember “One Fine Day” ? That movie was so good.



I may have just watched the kitchen kiss scene five times in a row. But only because I can’t find a YouTube video of the part where she spills juice box on herself and has to put on her kid’s dinosaur t-shirt under her business suit and STILL looks totally cute.

Your Captain Hook Complex. Impressed.

Caffeine, Cooler

In case you have not yet purchased your morning cup of joe, and you are wondering, "Is it iced coffee weather?"

Please point your web browser to www.isiticedcoffeeweather.com for the answer.

Brevity. Impressed.

It's A Jungle Out There

Good news for fans of tent dresses and Beanie Babies worldwide.

This weekend your roving reporter spotted Snuggie Wild Side at a local boutique. And by "boutique," I mean, "the Bed, Bath & Beyond." The Snuggie Wild Side keeps you warm and keeps your hands free. *Wink, wink.* Although, I have to wonder, if you have such a wild side, do you really care about the free booklight included with purchase? Also, if you are so wild, why are you wearing a GIANT FLEECE SACK!?

Faux fur. Not Impressed.

In times like these...

In very sad times I also turn to JC Chasez to really capture the moment.

thanks Time Magazine.

What a Week

The past 7 days have been intense.

We've lost Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson and as an extra special bonus the universe also threw in Billy Mays for free!

All are very sad, and we here at NEI send our condolences to all of the families and fans.

Lets remember Billy at his best -

This Time It's For Real

If you give some white people a camera, they are going to ask someone to take a picture of them, trying to look all serious. Here is a website full of those photos. [Note. This is not Leslie and me. But I’ve done that pout. And Leslie loves dogs.]

Sidenote: Some of the people on White People Trying to Look Serious are NOT WHITE.

Sidenote to the side note: Why does everyone look more hipster in a tumblr picture than they do on any other webhost?



My friend Travis shared this link. He is definitely white, and sometimes I take him seriously. Kudos.

Caucasian pretension. Impressed.

I Want You Back

Michael Jackson is dead?!

Iranicon!

One more thing. Speaking of that post where I talked about the horse biting me, and also completely narcissistic photos of myself. Paste mag is back at it with their icon maker, and this time you can tint your user pic green to show your support for democracy in Iran. I haven't done so yet, because I just found out who Neda was like, yesterday, and I don't want to be a total poser. Also I think I'd look kind of sea-sick with green skin and I'm really working hard on my summer tan. But if you're politically inclined, check it out!

*Note: This is not my icon. I just wanted to show you how you can adapt the statement of silent protest to your personality. Even if you are the sort that wears fancy hats in your facebook photo.

Armchair Activism. Impressed.

Quick Question

Is is it bad that two separate co-workers have now sent me the following image:

And I don't even touch my myspace anymore. Seriously, I had to go check on it to write this entry. The user picture is still me with that damn horse that bit me.

Impressed?

What I Want Is. . . Something Feminine

Freshman year of college, I went with my friend Desiree when she got her tattoo at Fatz Cats, or something similarly named, a clean but tacky spot shop that smelled like a nail gallery and sounded like a dentist’s office. The guy with the needles weighed about four hundred pounds and had no visible original skin, which did not stop me from asking him probing questions the whole time that he worked. He was none too pleased to have me poking around, but I didn’t much care, because I figured it might be the last time I’d get the chance to explore such a setting, and I have a highly investigative nature.

My own desire for a tattoo consisted of a six month mild interest in obtaining a medium sized purple rose on my right ankle. [Can you tell I was raised in NASCAR country?] Since the summer after 5th grade, I’ve been pretty turned off to body art, but lately people that I love dearly keep pelting me with galleries chock full of some real winning looks, and I wanted to share.

Check out:
http://ugliesttattoos.com/

And also:
http://hubpages.com/hub/ReallyBadTattoos

And if you’re too lazy to click links, just look at this troll doll with actual hair:



Ink. Not Impressed.

P.S. Bonus points to the first person who names the movie ref in this post’s title. Or any post’s title, but some of them are too easy.